Belmont Women Speak! Part 1
Quotes and quips I've hear and observed around town.
Most writers I know are keen observers of the life around them. In some cases we are hoping that the most subtle aesthetic detail will inspire something beautiful to pour out of us and onto the page. Perhaps a perfect snowflake glistening in moonlight will unlock a lovely piece that's been rattling around inside of us for days, months, or years.
This is especially true for those of us who write on a regular basis. Now that I have a weekly Patch deadline, I find myself frequently thinking, "That's interesting. Can I get a column out of it?"
I especially enjoy taking note of what people say. Among my friends in Belmont, I am known as "the keeper of quotes." When I hear something said that I want to remember, I find a scrap of paper somewhere and write it down.
So what follows is a first collection of some of those random quotes from random Belmont women. You can decide for yourself whether it was worth recording them for posterity.
"OK breasts, you've enhanced my figure and fed my children, now please don't kill me."
"If I eat one more sweet thing, I am going to gag, cry, throw up. Is that Too Much Information?"
"I have ants. In my car. Would it be easier to get rid of the car, or the ants?"
"House, husband, kids, job ... and now a sick dog. I can't handle this. That dog needs to hurry up and die."
"I told my husband: 'If I ever die, you need to immediately replace me. As in: solicit numbers at the wake.' To which he replied: 'No worries honey. I've got a short list ready to go.' "
"People always say: 'If you have your health, you have everything.' I say: 'If you have your mother, you have everything.' "
"At least with cancer, I thought, I'll get really skinny. But no, you end up sick, fat, and bald."
"Suffering is the last gift dying parents give to their kids: witnessing their suffering helps us let them go."
"He's sitting down with his cereal – coffee and paper in hand – and he says 'You've got to start doing more housework around here.' And all I can think is: 'When was the last time I sat down to eat or drink anything?' "
"I found a bird wing and bird feathers on the dining room floor. A new low in housekeeping. Even for me."
"I just ran into an old friend. In the space of two minutes she told me I'd gained weight and that she hated my new hair color ... I kind of wish we hadn't crossed paths."
"It was only after I had this child that I realized how oppressive parenting really is."
"There are days when the best I can manage for my kids is to clothe them and feed them. And that's about it."
"If I can find the energy, I need to buy groceries, plant bulbs, and locate winter jackets in the attic. Oh yeah, and get back on Prozac."
More next week ...