Being the further utterances of the women of Belmont. Yeah, there’s a lot of talking going on. 

Husband and Wife 

Q: “Why do always undermine my authority as a parent?”

A: “Why do you make such dumb-ass parenting decisions?”

Short Event Horizon

“I refuse to think about funding my kids’ college educations. Orthodontia alone is keeping me up at night.”

NIMBY Pamby

“It was for a Hospice Center – you know, providing end-of-life care for the terminally ill. You’d think the neighbors thought a half-way house for rapists, pedophiles and axe murders had been proposed.”

For Everything There Is A Season

“There will be no nursing home and no money for long-term assisted care – I am counting on you to get me dead ... when the time comes, of course.”

Saving the Moment

“Quick, grab the camera. We have to take this picture so she can remember how relaxed she can be. 

Anticipation

“I am so looking forward to tonight’s Klonopin ... is that bad?”

A Wistful Thought

“My husband is 64, I kind of thought he’d have some of that erectile dysfunction by now.”

An Equal and Opposite Reaction, .44 Magnum Version

“If one more person attempts to justify the appalling and unconscionable lack of gun regulation in this country, I am going to pull one out and blow them away.”

Your Tax Dollars at Work

“What do you mean you don’t want your tax dollars subsidizing abortion? My tax dollars have subsidized several wars I didn’t believe in.” 

Having Versus Doing 

“I don’t know anything about ‘having it all’ but I certainly can speak volumes to ‘doing it all.’ ”

Hot and Humid With A Chance of Paranoia

“It’s about this time every summer when I begin to feel I’ve lost all my friends and they’re out having drinks talking about what a jerk I am.”

Withdrawal Fee

“He didn’t pay the parking ticket for a month, so he doesn’t get sex for a month." 

As Good As It Gets

“There are days when the best I can manage for my kids is to clothe them and feed them.  And that’s about it.” 

Charity Begins at Home

“I have sex with my husband because I love him. Not because I really want to.”

A Mother’s Lament

“What happens when you are giving all you can give to your child and it’s clearly not nearly enough?”

Sharp-Toothed Irony

“Just when I’ve begun to love vacationing on the Cape, the sharks decide to spend summers there too.  Go figure.”

Least Common Denomination

“If I had to describe my religious orientation of late, I guess I would have to say ‘God-fearing atheist’…”

Right-Sizing

“So are you buying clothes that fit you now, or ones that are a little small, to motivate you?” – “That fit me now.  I’m done with aspirational purchases.”