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Slices of Life; Resolution Check-In Time

Belmont Patch Columnist Lisa Gibalerio asks: How are we doing with those promises? I thought so.

Written by Belmont Patch Columnist Lisa Gibalerio

It’s been just about a full week since the old year gave way to the new.  I know it feels so much longer, what with that foot of snow and all that came with it: two extra days home from school for the kids, all that shoveling, subzero temperatures, and, at our house at least, a frozen pipe.

Even so, I thought it might be a good time to pause and take stock of the resolutions we made just a few days ago.

The key to resolutions, the experts tell us, is to make them realistic.  So if you’re resolute about losing weight this year, I am going to give you a terrific suggestion.  Simply change the word “lose” to “gain” and you will have an attainable resolution!

Wasn’t that easy?

OK, how about our other resolutions?  Here, I’ll review a few of mine, in no particular order, to get the conversation started.

1: I Will Not Purchase Any More Hair Products Until I Use, or Toss, the Dozen or More that I Already Own.

My hair tends to be a bit of a challenge.  It has been described as willful, rebellious, unruly, curly, wavy, frizzy, dark, impossible to control, and coarse. (My husband likes it, but what does he know?)  No, I must face facts: like an alien creature, my hair feeds on humidity, and it shows.

Now, I have spent a lot of time and way too much money attempting to tame these disorderly tresses via various products. Gels, mousses, serums, contouring creams, leave-in-conditioners, hydrating moisture masks, pomades, you name the product and I have tried it. (I’ve kept Elmer’s Glue in reserve so far, but I may not hold out much longer.) My sister once gave me a small tube that read: ceramic ionic far infrared silk infusion. I think it frightened her; I know it did nothing for my hair.

But there will be no more purchases this year.  I will not get sucked into promises of smooth and silky, frizz-free hair.  I will not believe these products’ claims of humidity blocking and moisture locking.  I’m done, I tell you, done!  I may be mistaken for Roseanne Roseannadanna, but so be it.

Unless something really amazing shows up.  I’m not made of steel, after all.

2: I Will Yell Less and Exercise More.

This may sound like two separate resolutions, but by combining them, I am creating what the experts call A Winning Formula.  Thus, when I feel like yelling at my spouse (“My  hair is a nightmare, I tell you!”) or one of my kids (“Give me that Elmer’s Glue!”), I will instead hit the floor and do 20 push-ups.  The same goes for sit-ups, burpees, walking briskly around the block, and running up and down the stairs.  I will redirect my frustration into calorie-burning, muscle-toning energy.

Would you believe me if I confessed that this particular resolution is not going so well?  Yes, instead of not yelling, and doing lots of exercise, I find myself yelling a great deal, and eating lots of processed sugar.  Often, I admit, at the same time.  My kids will look at me, shrug, and say: “C’mon, Mom, can’t you scream at us after you’ve finished that ½ pound bag of M&Ms? … And what’s with your hair?”

Aargh!

3: I Will Quit Smoking

“Oh,” I can hear you thinking, “I didn’t even know you smoked, Lisa! Tsk, tsk!”  Well, you’d be right. I don’t smoke. Never have. But after failing so abysmally at resolutions number one and two, I had to come up with an easy one.

Easy for a non-smoker, that is.  I know it’s a very difficult resolution for people actually addicted to nicotine. I remember well the summer my parents quit smoking. At. The. Same. Time.

I was in high school and life became pretty tense on the home front. I coped by working three jobs, leaving home early in the morning and arriving back late at night, plotting to attend college far away, and spending a lot of time with a hair dryer; I was sporting bangs then, need I say more?.

Well, that’s my progress report, seven days in. Good luck to all of you with your own resolutions. Just think, one week down, 51 more to go!

On second thought, “one day at a time” may be a better approach.

Johanna Swift Hart January 07, 2014 at 12:03 PM
HAHAHAHAHA! I love it! I usually wait until MLK Day to make my resolutions so I have a better idea of what I'm up against in the new year. I guess I should be grateful that "naturally curly hair" isn't on my (long) list of challenges!
Anne Johnson Mahon January 07, 2014 at 08:33 PM
I LOVE THIS POST LISA! The third one made me gasp and then laugh out loud. Listen sister...I'm padding your resolution by saying not only do you have to use the hair products YOU have left, but you have to use ALL OF ANNE MAHON'S! I have shelves full. Bath and Body has a half price sale and there I am like a heroin addict filling up another plastic mesh basket OF THINGS I DON'T NEED and that will likely expire before I get to them. ;-)
Adriana Poole January 11, 2014 at 02:07 PM
I've added this post to my favorite, under "art" category! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Thank you, Lisa. I'd probably be in the same basket with you and Anne if I wasn't plagued by a contact dermatitis -- I can only use very few products that come in contact with my skin, unfortunately or fortunately for my storage space and budget! When I'm down I know that all I need to do is just go back to this post and get some good laughs.

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