By Lisa Gibalerio
It’s time for another Patch installment of Belmont Women Speak, where I share with you quotes I’ve overheard around town – and have frantically scribbled down on scraps of paper, backs of receipts, the odd napkin, etc. – over the past year. The topics are as varied and disparate and the women who spoke them. I hope you enjoy them.
Next week's column will be part 2.
What’s in a Number?: “If 50 is the new 40, why do I feel 70?”
Parenting Philosophies 101: “Benign Neglect is a perfectly acceptable way to parent. Besides, everything else just takes too much energy.”
Parenting Philosophies 201: “I used to think parenting toddlers would be harder than parenting teens. Until I realized that teens are really just giant toddlers.”
Bargain Hunting 1: “Do you think if we all went together, we could get a group rate on liposuction?”
Bargain Hunting 2: “Maybe we could get a triple room at Mt. Auburn. And if we’re good, maybe they’d let us stay there for a week, at least.”
Bargain Hunting 3: “And if we throw in our bunion-ectomies, maybe we’d get a group rate and a deep discount.”
Accomplished Homemaker: “My idea of making dinner is placing a bowl of strawberries on the table. With the stems still on.”
Staying Connected: “I am Facebook-stalking not only my ex-wife and her boyfriend, but the boyfriend’s ex-wife and her current boyfriend. After I stalk, I cross-check to see if we have any ‘friends’ in common. Is that pathetic?”
Just Say No: “I figured out how to feel lightheaded for free. Just stop eating and stand up fast.”
Favored Companion: “Who needs a boyfriend when you have whiskey? I don't even drink whiskey. I should start."
Mrs. Robinson Alive and Well in Belmont?: “So, I have this Mrs. Robinson crush-thing going on with one of my son’s friends … and I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.”
Complimentary: “The sweetest seventy-something gentleman came up to me at a restaurant recently and said ‘Excuse me young lady, but that it is one fetching frock you are wearing.’ He totally made my night!”
On Being Sent Back to Drivers Training Remediation: “It’s not that I’m a bad driver or anything. It’s just that I sometimes hit things.”
Fit or Fat?: “How is it that I did ‘Wii Fit’ until I was exhausted, and only burned 34 calories?”
X-Ray Vision?: “Look, I’m on the other side of 50 now. If people can’t see my inner beauty, they’re just not looking hard enough.”
Small Town Woes 1: “Don’t you hate it when someone isn’t speaking to you and it seems you run into them absolutely everywhere?”
Belmont Pride: “I hate Town Day. It’s always hot and crowded and expensive. I hate that rainy, cold Easter Egg Hunt too. I only really like the December one, and that’s mostly because there’s free hot chocolate and cookies.”
Marital Realism: “The only thing you can hope to change about your husband, is maybe, just maybe, the way he dresses.”