It’s time for another Patch installment of Belmont Women Speak, where I share with you quotes I’ve overheard around town – and have frantically scribbled down on scraps of paper, backs of receipts, the odd napkin, etc. – over the past year. The topics are as varied and disparate and the women who spoke them. I hope you enjoy them.
Look for Part 2 in this space next week.
On the Perfect Drug
“There really should be such a thing as an over-the-counter, anti-anxiety, sleep aid, with the added benefit of appetite suppressant, as a safe and approved drug. Millions could be made.”
On the Perfect Drug, One Minor Adjustment
“Wait, throw in ‘libido enhancer’ and trillions could be made!”
“Well, it couldn’t have been too wild a weekend, we didn’t end up in the paper’s police log.”
“If you ever see me dancing, assume I’ve had too much to drink.”
On Dancing, a Different Perspective
“If you ever see me dancing, assume alcohol poisoning!”
On Reducing the Size of Government
“Which part of government do you want smaller exactly? The part that funds education? Helps the elderly? Repairs highways and bridges? Protects the environment? The part that spends my money on people who should be working for a living.”
On the Anguish of a Mother Whose Baby Had Fallen
“Oh come on. Who hasn’t dropped a baby on its head?”
“I’m on about a thousand different diets.” – she said, pulling a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates out of her purse.
Good Beach Read?
“I felt really funny about reading Fifty Shades of Gray in public – until I walked by a 70-year-old women reading it on the beach the other day ... She was so engrossed!”
Save Money, Live Better
“Oh dear, you can so taste the Walmart in these English muffins.
A Preference of Bedmates
“Every night I get into bed and giggle with joy. I would so much rather sleep with my lice-infested 9-year-old than with my ex-husband.”
“I was really proud of the fact that I graduated from college and was fluent in a foreign language. Well, proud of that, and of the fact that I didn’t catch an STD ...”
An Unsuspected Fear
“I expected the odd assortment of aches and pains as a part of getting older. What I didn’t expect is to be afraid of dying in my sleep.”
What About the Children?
“This town is crazy ... I mean we had a tree tragically kill a child ... are we going to cut down all the trees to ‘keep the children safe’?”
An Indecent Proposal
“My husband recently suggested we split an ice cream cone. I mean, really, I would have been less disturbed if he had suggested a [menage de trois].”
“We should start our own Burning Man. We’ll call it ‘Burning Women’ and instead of smoking pot, we’ll just try on clothes all weekend.”