Talking about Issues with your Aging Parents

Although there is no denying the inevitability of the aging process, even the most pragmatic seniors may delay confronting health, financial, legal and other estate-related matters. They are familiar with all the issues, as it is happening to their peer group all around them, but facing eventual decline is a subject most seniors do not feel comfortable with or act upon.

I'm Not Old!

This behavior is backed by evidence. A Pew Research Center survey in 2009 found that individuals push back the age which they consider old (see chart) as they age. This supports a view that old age, regardless of your age, is seen as always in the future.

So how to address the issues of safety, security and well-being today?

Taking the lead in baby steps.

Open up a dialogue by addressing issues in small increments and when possible, utilize real life occurences as the catalyst for a discussion.  For example, when a friend or relative falls ill, drop into the conversation “ I wonder who is taking care of their house?” or “Thank goodness they moved to the assisted living community.”.

In order to make reluctant parents feel comfortable with the situation, transparency is key. Step one in creating transparency can be to establish who the decision makers will be for each planning issue in the family. For example, planning financial issues may fall to one parent and a particular sibling, health issues may fall to another, residence issues, etc. This designation of responsibility will aid in generating consensus in the family and decrease confusion along the way.  

In many cases it may make sense to have an objective third party involved to facilitate the conversation.  A trusted and credentialed financial professional is a wise option to help transform a taboo topic into one that empowers your parents with control over their legacy.

The advisors at Shepherd Financial Partners have developed a collaborative process to help create a plan specific to your family needs and values.  Our process can help you make this transition as smooth and efficient as possible and remain a cohesive family unit throughout the process.

Take comfort in knowing that there is a plan when the inevitable happens.